The Lamer Gamer

I know what NAT is and how it functions, but I’ve really been wondering lately just what defines the different NAT functional levels on the Xbox 360.  Finally found some documentation that at least explains what the technical meaning is behind each state, but not exactly why one is more or less desirable.  Clearly, “Open” (in green) is better than “Strict” (in red) but why is that?

From http://www.xbox.com/zh-SG/live/connect/diagnosing.htm

What does each NAT type mean?

It doesn’t have to anything to do with security. A router performing “open” NAT is no less secure than a router performing “strict” NAT. The classification system boils down to something called a port assignment policy.

• Open NAT means that either the port assignment policy is minimal or the router has a fully compliant version of UPnP (Universal Plug and Play) enabled by default.
• Moderate NAT means that the port assignment policy is minimal, but there is address or port filtering taking place.
• Strict NAT means the port assignment policy is aggressive.

Also from an Xbox Live document

Port Assignment Policy

1. When a NAT receives a UDP packet from a client device, it must decide what UDP port to assign to that UDP source port on that client device. There are two techniques the NAT can use to do this.The NAT can assign one UDP port to each UDP source port used by a client device, regardless of the destination of the UDP packet. We call this “minimal port assignment policy” because it results in the minimum number of UDP ports being assigned by the NAT. This is also sometimes called a “cone” NAT.
2. The NAT can assign a different UDP port for each UDP destination. We call this an “aggressive port assignment policy” because it results in the NAT assigning many ports. This is also sometimes called a “symmetric” NAT.

Shamelessly lifted from lamebook.com

A long while back, in a Halo 2 lobby far, far away, I saw someone with a priceless GamerTag.  ”SNESChalmers”.  Some people just have great vision.  Then there are those who can’t get past “Xx KillUSomore xX”.  Lame.

Anyway, thought I’d start a list of good ones I’ve seen.

1. SNESChalmers (for sure, Super Nintendo Chalmers, that’s a great reference)
2. Wookie Bebop (seen last night in BioShock 2, just funny to me)

It’s really only relevant as so many people are complaining about the spawn system in MW2

“You think you had a bad respawn?  What about Jesus?  His was in a cave behind this big rock.”

Been trudging through Bioshock 2, and in one of the random corners of a level that I’ve explored, I found this:

Schrodinger’s Cat, no?  I laughed a bunch when I found this after melting a patch of ice in the frozen gallery in Dionysius Park.  Since there’s no box, I think it’s pretty clear that this cat is dead, but you never know.  Anyway, great Easter Egg.

Bioshock 2 is surprising me bit by bit.  The main game is more of the same, the story is new of course, but most of the enemies are the same, the weapons are essentially the same (just updates of the originals) and rapture, looks about the same.  I’m having fun with it, though I’m having trouble keeping track of some of the characters.  I think it supposed to be obvious that you are this guy who’s daughter was kidnapped and turned into Little Sister, and you yourself turned into a Big Daddy, but I’m rather confused.  Oh well, I’m almost done, and it’ll be sorted out by then I hope.

Multiplayer is what’s actually surprising.  It’s obviously not MW2 or anything of that ilk, but a decent set of derivative game types with the spin of Bioshock’s Plasmid and Tonics + weapon upgrades.  Doubtful that I’d want to keep the game just for that, but it’s a nice diversion after  some of the more tedious collecting of things (all Little Sisters, audio diaries) in single player.

Dear John Shuster, et al.,

I”m sure you’re lovely individuals.  Your demeanor on the ice suggests you exemplify the best in sportsmanship and taking ownership of your own faults.  I love watching your games, and cheering on the US of A.

But GOD DAMN IT, Why, John can’t you make a clutch shot in extra ends.  I can deal with watching other teams make incredible plays and win matches, but you guys simply need to make normal, relatively run of the mill plays, and you can’t.  3 times now I’ve seen you in position to win in extras, and you can’t do it.  Germany beat you handily, they were better that day for sure. Norway, Switzerland, and now Denmark are not decidedly better teams.  You’ve had every opportunity to be 3-1 in competition and you’ve BLOWN every one.  Get your heads out of your asses, NOW!

One has to find ways of passing the time at work, and this has proved a great time sink today.  Though I find it annoying, I don’t get quite as bent out of shape about the whole Nuke Boosting thing as a lot of other people.  I’ve found people doing it and killed them, cause hey, I want to win.  Anyway, there are of course those who REALLY hate it, and those that for some odd reason record every moment of the time they spend playing MW2.  Occasionally you find someone exhibiting both traits.

And thus I found http://www.youtube.com/user/PS3HouseMDPL, only the most prolific recorder of MW2 booster hunting.

This guy is great!  While his gameplay is good, the greatness comes from the comedy.  He’s added some pretty solid music and sound effects to the recordings along with a running annotated commentary, and I can’t stop laughing at points.  Not only does he have some recordings of the DUMBEST boosters ever, but some of the most indignant I’ve ever seen.  If I had to nitpick, he does seem to like teabagging just a little too much, but to each their own.

Unfortunately he’s playing MW2 on a PS3, so I’m never going to see him.

Geez FINALLY!  Maybe playing all this MW2 is rotting my brain but I’m less excited about this than I once was.  Seeing any more of the Halo Bible is great though.  Oh, and is that a Needler Carbine I see?  Nice!

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2010/02/microsofts-own-e3-halo-reach-beta-dated-fable-iii-details.ars

Finished up playing through Mass Effect 2, went back for a second play through to get some achievements.  Had a good time.  I’ve been reading a lot of praise for ME2, I’ve also read many complaints.  The simplified (dummed down) combat/inventory system, length of the game, music, etc., etc.

I completely agree with the criticism of the combat and inventory.  There is less customization and points assignment for each character, which takes away from some of the elements I enjoyed in ME1 combat.  Your squad has less powers than in ME1, which makes it sort of obvious which of their abilities you’ll be using ALL THE TIME.  The inventory system in ME1 was terrible, BUT, customizing weapons and the breadth of choice was a great strength.  Now I get 2 choices for each weapon, the crappy one, or the upgraded one.  So, um, yeah, there’s that.  The idea of having ammo now instead of heat buildup, was just a bad idea.  I figure they could have sorted out inventory without removing it entirely.  Just as a note, I feel the AI in combat is pretty bad for the enemy, but pretty good on your side.

The length of the game wasn’t bad.  I think there is a perception problem caused by the bulk of the gameplay time being taken up by the Build the Team, and Loyalty missions, whereas the Collector Ship and Reaper missions are fairly short.   Still, I did virtually every side quest and it took me around 40 hours on the first play through.  That’s reasonable I think.  There is a related issue of scale. Scanning planets (which is essentially avoidable if you don’t care about upgrades) in ME2 does not take the same amount of time I spent in ME1 driving around in the Mako on some random planet.  I don’t know why everyone was so down on the Mako.  It made the worlds feel huge.  Now every planetside mission takes place in roughly the space of a city block.  Another scale issue I didn’t like was that the Citadel was confined to a much smaller playable area.

I don’t know what anyone is complaining about with regard to the music.   I found it fitting, and with some well placed throwbacks to ME1.

Oh, if I had to make one other minor complaint.  The Romance scenes, forced.  And the love scene, meh.  At least the love scene in ME1 had some side-boob.

Brief article with some of the same points http://www.oxm.co.uk/article.php?id=17055

I find it riotously funny to read the posts of gamers recently banned from XBL.

Top 3 types of bitching:

1. I got banned and I never cheated.   Well I might have accidentally cheated.  Okay I cheated.  But I swear I’ll never do it again if you un-ban me.
   You got what was coming to you pal. Oh, and you’re a liar.
   
   
2. My “son’s” account got banned and I’m contacting you from my own account.  I can guarantee he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
   Riiiiight, your his mom, and your GamerTag is something to the effect of “XX Legiit X Killaz XX”.
   
   
3. This guy started cheating in a match I was in, and I started cheating to beat him.
   Actually, this one I would feel a little bad about if it were true.  IF! I’ve done that before when terribly frustrated that someone is clearly wallhacking.  It’s just too sweet to get payback.
   
   

On to the good stuff!

can anyone tell me why i spent $300.00 on a console and my grandson used it and now i cannot ever use the x box again. i need to find out a specific reason i am out $300 and a membership fee for a 14 year old childs actions.

xbox has been no help and keeps telling me it could have been one of several reasons and i can see those possible reasons by looking at general answers under the rules. to me this unacceptable that my console can be banned without my being given a reason. how am i supposed to discipline a child if i don’t kow why i am disciplining him. what do i say…”oh it is one of 10 reasons. you are being disciplined for general reasons.”

i am out $300 and a membership fee for an unknown violation performed by a child. can anyone help me to find an answer or a resolution?

First off, I wonder how many grandfathers own Xbox hardware, and two, how many have grandchildren old enough to figure out how to mod content etc.

My Gamertag ” I R3DS0X I ” got suspended until February 21st.  I basically sent a message to The Pro and about 2 minutes later i got a 2 week expansion.  I would like to know why i got banned and also if i can get this taken back.  Basically the only thing i can think of is a few care package glitching but nothing more. Thanks

Um… Yeah… You know that part where you admitted cheating by using a care package glitch.  That’s why you were banned jackass.

So i was just suspended while playing MW2. When i read the email it said that the reason for being suspended could be because of scamming. Well i will explain why. I got to tenth prestige legit i have like 13 days played i think and i decided that i would pretend that i had a j-tagged xbox and trick kids into giving me headshots. I have never takin any microsoft points or anything other than headshots from these kids. So im trying to figure out why i got suspended from people who report me because i wasn’t able to glitch/cheat them to 10th prestige which is against the CoC. I also did not solicitate because i do not have the jtagged xbox. I read the CoC and the ToU and i havn’t violated any of it. can someone explain?

“I pretended that I had a modded Xbox.”  Yeah, just like I pretended to care you got banned.

The follow exchange was so priceless I had to copy the whole thing.

Guy1

Okay well I’ve been busy and I haven’t been able to post this yet, and if I posted it in the wrong spot I’m sorry. Well, I was playing Gears of War 1 recently and I unlocked an achievment I already had and I looked at my gamerscore and it was 0. Later I looked at my gamerzone and it said cheater. I called Xbox right before I posted it and they said that they couldn’t fix it. I know I didn’t cheat my gamerscore and I would like to know why this happened and if it can be fixed. Thank you.

Guy2

What does “I cap and ноsт foя 48 ноuя codes. Foя мy fяieпds i do iт foя fяее” mean in your Bio?

Guy3
It means “suspend me from Xbox Live and gamerscore reset me” in l33t speek.  I think.  That’s what babelfish comes back with anyway..